I can't begin to explain how excited I am to have lost this much. I look back at my week and I know I made some bad decisions. I'm not perfect... no one is. I ate a 14oz steak this weekend and a chocolate lava cake. I think the difference is that I actually worked out both Saturday and Sunday. I do as much cardio as possible-- but really, I think it's just one BIG excuse to get out of the house. Things with my father have gotten worse and I dread going home. I really do.
When I was fighting with my dad, I noticed that I had to fight the urge to go to the fridge and grab something to eat. I wasn't hungry, I was upset. Upset because he doesn't understand me. One minute he is cheering me on, the next he is telling me how useless I am. So many times, I heard those words coming from him. It's a bipolar relationship. It's been like this since I turned 15. Over 10 years of emotinally scaring each other. I wish parents would realize that verbal abuse does affect you. A few months ago, I understood why I cried when my bf scolded me. My daddy issues tied into my eating. I didn't/don't really care about myself. He's gone as far as telling me that there is no man that would want to be with a woman like me. A lazy woman that just sits on her ass all day- i have to admit, I didn't move around much.
So... this turned into me venting about my dad. Geez! Feels good.
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