I am not sure what is wrong with me. After what happened yesterday I don't feel like myself.
On my way home yesterday, I stopped by Whole Foods. I felt the urge to go to the restroom but I figured I could wait. After that I went to pump gas.. as soon as I heard the pump start running I needed to pee NOW! I figured I could drive to Costco (maybe 40 ft) and run to their restroom. I wasn't able to. I went right there, sitting in the car. I tried so hard to control it, I was even squeezing my hands in the hopes that it would stop it. Nothing. It wouldn't stop. I drove home like that. I cried all the way there. What is wrong with me? Why couldn't I hold it. It happened to me once before but I didn't think much of it. Now I'm wondering why! Maybe I have some sort of infection that is preventing me from holding it. I have to admit though, I am guilty of holding it for long periods of time.
After I showered, I ate. I ate because I was sad. I ate because I felt like I couldn't control my situation. I ate because I COULD! After the binging I realized that it was pointless. I have worked hard to lose 12lbs and I'm throwing it all away. Same thing today. I can't get what happened out of my head. I want to eat. Not because I'm hungry but because I can. I feel anxious. I want to eat something. I haven't even been drinking water because I don't want an accident to happen at work.
I can't do this to myself. Bitchcakes was right, this is a very emotional journey. I was in the honeymoon phase.
This is a very emotional journey, but you can't let a small setback throw you off track. I would definitely suggest seeing a doctor, you could have a health problem. My husband goes every three months for a ct scan since his Chemotherapy and the urge to eat comes with my anxiety but I know that eating is NOT going to help, it's going to throw me into a downward spiral. Dust yourself off, and get back on the wagon. We're all cheering for you.
ReplyDeleteyes, definitely see a doctor to rule out any health issues.
ReplyDeleteyes, this is an emotional journey! but you are reaching out and we are here to support you! Don't let a setback keep you from moving forward. Tomorrow is a new day....you CAN do this!! :)